In a nut shell

If you haven’t wanted to list your child as an item on ebay and sell them off, then you’re the type of parent that scares the living shit out of me… the parents with their shit together.

Carrying a baby and giving birth is piss easy compared to actually raising them, they’re alright before the age of 1, after that it’s downhill. Well for me it’s been like that, Heidi was such a content newborn then she decided to grow some attitude and I’m not lying guys sometimes I ¬†want to do an actual exorcism on her because I’m convinced she could really be the spawn of Satan.

I argue back with my two year old and half the time it’s me that ends up backing down, not because she intimidates me (although she can be quite scary), but because I’m 23 years old why on earth am I arguing with a 2 year old about what shoes she should be wearing… you wanna wear your wellies on a sunny day then go ahead kid, you’re the one that will look a twat not me.¬†

Does parenting get easier? I bloody well hope so! I’ve been winging it for 2 years now, and I don’t seem to be doing too bad, she’s still breathing.


Hands up… who’s that mother who mutters that their child is a little shit under their breath? or maybe it’s slipped out as you’re chasing after them in a busy shop….

Hi I’m Madison and I’m a frequent user of nicknames such as little fucker and little shit when it comes to describing my 2 and a half year old daughter Heidi.

As a first time mum I had no idea what to expect when it comes to motherhood, I listened to numerous stories and read countless books but even with all that knowledge nothing prepared me for what I was letting myself in for. Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE being a mum, Heidi is without a doubt the best thing to ever happen to me (so cringe but so true), she drives me insane 100% of the time but I wouldn’t trade her in for anything….. well maybe a cat… maybe.